Any screenwriter who wants to make a career out of the craft will have to venture out and collaborate with others at some point. Even if you wrote the story by yourself, if you want it made, you’re gonna have to work with others because most films are impossible to create alone, whether it’s a no-budget indie or a multi-million dollar film. That’s just the nature of the beast.
And this is where things can get a little tricky for writers like me who would much rather spend their time working on stories and ignoring everything else. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Maybe you end up partnering with a producer, a director, or another ambitious writer. Regardless, it’ll happen when you realize you can’t go anywhere without other people.
That’s why, for this post, I’d like to spend a little time sharing my experience with partnerships, what I’ve done to get the most value out of them, and how I managed to avoid the awful pitfalls that come with the territory.
Not every partnership will work out, no matter what you do, and that’s okay because it was never meant to be. But if you want to mitigate the headaches and drama, here are a few things you can do that might prove helpful.
Know Your Partner
This is by far THE most important thing when it comes to partnerships. Sounds obvious, enough, right? Just grab some dinner, ask em twenty questions, and if you vibe well, take the plunge. No, no, and no!
I mean, yes, obviously you want to spend time with them, but going out to dinner a few times is not gonna cut it. People tell you who they are by what they do, not by what they say, and when you’re at a party or a get-together there’s a whole lot of talking, but no one is actually doing anything.
Socializing with potential partners is a great way to figure out if you want to be in the same room with them. But that does not tell you whether or not they’d be great to work with. To figure that out is actually pretty simple. Work with them on something. No, don’t work on your precious baby that you plan to put your sweat and blood into.
Work on something smaller that won’t take up too much of your time and energy. If you both do a good job and like collaborating then do it a few more times before you fully commit to something with high risk and high reward.
Sometimes you don’t have the luxury of time, and you need to collaborate sooner than later. If that’s the case then, unfortunately, you’ll have to take a risk. Of course, you can mitigate risks through referrals and evaluating their work, but until you actually work with them, you won’t know for sure if it’ll pan out.
Fortunately in my experience, most people are good and have honest intentions, referrals or not, so your chances of partnering with a total narcissist who will back-stab you are small. But even if they’re a good person with honest intentions, that doesn’t necessarily mean a partnership will work out.
You could easily have disagreements about style, direction, work ethics, how you work, or any number of things, and if you get into something that costs a lot of time, money, and energy only for it to go nowhere because you got into a fight…Well, that would suck, which is why seeking a symbiotic partnership is really important if you want a strong one that can weather through the bad times and be open to forgiving differences.
Aim for Symbiosis
Symbiosis is defined as a mutually beneficial relationship between different people. So when you form a partnership, it’s always best to find someone who you need and who needs you, whether it’s skills, connections, resources, or all three.
Let’s say you partner with a writer. Both of you don’t have connections or resources, and you’re both really good at writing. Well, what happens when you come to a strong disagreement? What’s to stop either of you from just walking away and writing it yourselves? The answer is nothing because, to put it bluntly, you don’t really need each other.
That isn’t to say you shouldn’t partner with a writer if you’re also a writer. It just means if you do, it’s better if they’re really good at something that you’re not. For instance, maybe they’re better at action sequences and dialogue, but you’re really good at forming the beats and deeper meaning.
With that kind of partnership, you’ll be more likely to try and work out differences because you’ll know that the story can’t be made without each other. The more you need each other, the harder it will be to walk away, so you’ll exhaust every avenue to try and make it work before giving up.
Understanding Conflict Resolution
Now, let's say you find a seemingly good partnership, and while collaborating, you come to a complete standstill. You wanna take this direction and your partner wants to take a different one.
Endless arguments erupt, and that glorious honeymoon phase begins to fade into a distant memory. Your partnership and story are in jeopardy. So, how do you save it? Well, you do it the same way you save a marriage, through basic conflict resolution.
First, come into the argument with the goal of understanding their ideas and where they’re coming from. Don’t try to defend your ideas. In fact, start the conversation with questions. Don’t state anything at all. Just ask probing questions that can dig deep into their thought process and why they think their ideas are the best.
Oftentimes, especially if I’m collaborating with a non-writer, the person will have a bad idea with good intentions, but they won’t realize why their idea doesn’t work for what they’re intending. So a good technique is to get them to realize why their idea won’t work instead of telling them why it won’t work, and you do this by asking a bunch of probing questions. That will get them to think more deeply about their choices while helping you better understand what they’re intending to accomplish. This makes it much easier to develop a solution that can resonate with both of you.
Asking questions instead of sticking to defensive statements is a really powerful technique for conflict resolution because it makes your partner less argumentative and more reflective of their own ideas. It shifts the focus from defending the ideas to better understanding the ideas. And if you find them giving convoluted answers that aren’t super clear, wait until they’re finished and try to reiterate it in one sentence. This will show them that you’re actively listening and being helpful. You’re not trying to destroy their ideas in place of yours. You’re just trying to get a full understanding. That’s how you keep things cool.
The trick to asking the right questions is to ask ones that will get both of you to determine whether the ideas will work. So maybe they think the character should do x, but you know that it would contradict y from a previous scene. Instead of stating that, just ask, “If x is done, wouldn’t that contradict y?” Or maybe they want the character to do this smooth last-second thing to save the day, but you know that it would be impossible for that character to know x,y, and z in order to pull off that move. So again, instead of stating this issue, ask it in the form of a question. “For the character to do this, wouldn’t they have to know x,y, and z?”
This is great to do, not just for your partner who you think is incorrect, but also for yourself because you may not even realize that your idea is also wrong. Asking questions mitigates the frustration and gives both of you a clear head to explore your ideas.
Now, if you ask the right questions, you may induce cognitive dissonance, which can be a tricky thing to meander through when coming up with alternative suggestions. So when you do make suggestions, avoid saying, “but”. “I like your idea, but I think…” That sounds like, “I wanna make you feel good about your idea, but really I think it’s bad, so instead we should do this.”
That’s dismissive. Instead, use the word, “and”. “I like your idea, and I think…” That sounds more like, “I like your idea, and in addition to that, I think we should…” You see, changing the “but’s” to “and’s” can make a huge difference in how the other person receives your statements. One sends a dismissive message, and the other sends an acknowledging message.
Another thing you can do is change your beliefs by integrating some of their viewpoints during the argument. Maybe you’re not totally open to your partner’s ideas, but if there’s at least something then integrate that into your arguments, and acknowledge that it’s a fair point. This will show your partner that you’re open and are prioritizing the best ideas instead of just your ideas, which will make your partner more likely to do the same in good faith.
So let's say you’ve been going back and forth for a while, challenging each other with probing questions, integrating each other’s ideas, and avoiding those nasty, “buts”. You’ve made progress in coming up with a resolution, but you’re not quite there. A powerful question to ask when you’re really close to the finish line is, “What would it take for you to agree with x?” X is where you want to land, but it’s where your partner is hesitant. Your job is to figure out what they need in order to accept x. So ask them.
They may hesitate and struggle to answer because they may not know, but at least if you can get them to start thinking and provide some answers, that can help you remodel the idea you want to land on so that it can become acceptable for both you and your partner, which is ultimately what the goal is.
Again, this may induce cognitive dissonance, especially if they realize how bad their ideas were. No one likes to be wrong because it makes them look stupid. The worst thing you could do is pick on someone for being wrong about something. Not only does that make you an asshole, but it also makes them far less receptive to changing their ideas, so you may end up making all of this progress, only to hit a brick wall in the end.
That’s why it’s super important to give your partner a bridge, so they can move over to the optimal idea that you helped forge through careful arguing and compromising.
When you hear stuff like, “Huh, I didn’t consider that” or, “Hmm, I see what you mean.” show empathy towards them. “Yeah, I didn’t even realize it either until yesterday, which is why I made the change.” “Hey, no worries! I was literally making that mistake all the time until someone pointed it out for me. It’s definitely not an obvious thing.”
It’s easy to want to revel in the glory of being right, but that will give the impression that you believe you can never be wrong. That will push your partner away. Be humbled by the fact that no one is always right, and show empathy with your partner because when you’re wrong, It really hurts! And when fuel is added to that pain, it makes it more likely that someone will walk away, regardless of whether they’ve been convinced or not.
Now, the last technique, which is the most powerful one, is this little inception tactic where you supplant an idea of who they are in their heads at the beginning of the argument. This will make them more likely to adopt those specific traits that you want to see in the conversation.
So saying something like, “Look, I know you’re someone who's very open to new ideas.” will actually make them more likely to adopt the trait of openness because they’ll feel almost obligated to live up to that positive expectation. Just make sure whatever you’re trying to supplant is a positive trait because obviously, if you make it negative they’ll get upset. And make sure when you do say it, don’t come off as patronizing. Nobody likes a parent in the argument.
Conclusion
Partnerships are powerful, but they can also be quite a mess, so to avoid a calamity, just make sure you really know your partner and how they work, find a symbiosis, and develop a good sense of conflict resolution to navigate through the tough moments.
Sometimes they’ll work out. Other times they won’t no matter what you do. Don’t beat yourself up if that happens. We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all burned bridges. So no dwelling on your failures! Just focus on what you can learn from them, and you’ll increase your odds of success the next time around.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this read, and, please, if you have a topic you’d like me to cover, shoot me a message! I wanna hear from you!
Until next time, best of luck in your writing endeavors!
Story Prism, LLC
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