Getting feedback on your script can feel a lot like being bullied. And giving feedback can feel like being a bully. It’s a rough position to be in whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. But it doesn’t have to feel like this. It just depends on how you approach it.
So I guess that begs the question…How do you approach giving and receiving feedback so you don’t ruin relationships or yourself? Seems pretty straightforward, but when you experience it first-hand in a room full of struggling writers…Well, It can get pretty heated.
A lot of writers don’t want to step back into the ring after that first punch of criticism. But you have to because it’s fundamentally essential for your development as a writer. Without input, whether it’s from a group of writers or an audience, you’ll never really know how good you are, let alone how to improve yourself, which means you’ll become a prisoner of your own ideas and never get any better.
So feedback. Super important and really hard to deal with. Also, really hard to give it without pissing someone off. But like everything, the art of feedback can be mastered. So here are a few things that I did to not only survive criticism but also become a better writer because of it.
Feedback is Your Frenemy
Before we get into the nuts and bolts, let’s talk about why we always seem to have the urge to fight or flight when getting criticism. I already covered this in my previous post, The Writer’s Ego, but for those like me who are lazy, here’s the gist of it.
When you write a story, you’re really writing a kind of truth you believe about the World. So when others critique your work, it literally feels like they’re critiquing your beliefs. And that induces cognitive dissonance, which is just a nerdy way of saying that your brain is trying to reconcile two competing views of the World to make sense of reality. That’s why you might find yourself quickly defending your choices, brushing off opinions, or just politely nodding your head and trying to find the next opportune moment to run away.
Your worldview is being shattered, so your brain tries to protect you from that awful disaster by doing things like rationalizing that the reader wasn’t an “experienced” storyteller or that it’s not their genre. Perhaps you might even convince yourself that you’ll never be good enough and should quit. If you find yourself saying these things, then there’s a good chance you’re trying to prevent yourself from experiencing cognitive dissonance without even realizing it, and this, of course, prevents you from actually improving your story.
This isn’t to say that you should accept all feedback as gospel and always assume that your choices are wrong. But as a writer, you should always be aware of what the brain is doing because it makes it easier to overcome those lies you tell yourself while also helping you become a kinder, more constructive critic, which can significantly help other writers.
Okay now, with that out of the way, let’s talk about receiving feedback.
Receiving Feedback
Getting feedback is pretty straightforward. You hand your script to someone who is willing to read it, and they come back with notes (hopefully valuable). But how do you get the most out of those encounters?
Re-read, Re-write, and Re-Read
You just vomited out your first draft. Finally! Now you’re ready to show the World. Woah! Hold up. Before you go throwing that into people’s faces, you’re probably going to want to do a bunch of re-writes, first. How many? As many as you need to in order to truly convince yourself that what you wrote is great. I honestly can’t tell you how many re-writes I do before sharing my work, but it’s a lot.
I do this because I want to respect the readers. Think about it. You send your first draft to your friend. They tell you they’re excited to read it and will get back to you later in the week. So after a few days, you decide to re-read it, and that’s when you find a huge mistake in your plot that fundamentally changes a whole bunch of things.
You immediately start a new draft, and while frantically working on it, your buddy gets back to you with their notes, pointing out the same errors that you’re fixing right now. You get a little annoyed, but you get it. He didn’t read this new version. So you kindly explain to him that you’re aware of these issues and to ignore them because you’re working on a new draft that you’ll send, later on.
Cool. You just turned this favor into an unpaid job and wasted your friend's time because now they have to read a new draft. Yeah, just. Don’t do that.
Rule number one when it comes to getting feedback - always show what you believe to be the final draft. In other words, re-read, re-write, re-read, and so on until you feel like your story is as good as it can possibly be.
Unless your reader is a paid professional working with you then you’ll probably only be able to get them to read it once. I mean, out of respect you’ll only want them to read it once because just reading a script once is a bit of a commitment. But reading 4, 5, or 10 drafts is a huge commitment to ask from anyone who isn’t getting paid. So make it count by making the draft as perfect as possible, first, before you send it out to your friends or strangers online.
Gather Data On Your Feedback
If you’re fortunate to know professional writers who can give detailed feedback, that’s awesome! But for those who don’t know any, unfortunately, you’re stuck having to share it with amateurs, at best, and your family members, at worst. And all too often when writers do this, they get vague and superficial feedback that makes it difficult to take any action on it.
Non-writers and inexperienced writers are great at identifying when something isn’t working just as experienced writers are. But they suck at understanding why it isn’t working and how to fix it, which is what you need. So to aid you in this problem, it might be good to not only send them your script but also specific questions for them to answer. Doing this can help you avoid getting vague feedback. But what kinds of questions should you ask?
Well, I’m sorry, but there isn’t a universal list for this. Every story has its own unique set of questions because every story is different, even if they’re using the same tricks and tropes. But when thinking of questions, it’s important to focus on the parts that you suspect are troubling. Maybe you went a little too wild in that first scene, or perhaps you wrote too much in the first act. Whatever the suspicion is, get it verified by asking your readers questions surrounding those parts.
Also when you send questions, be respectful and only ask 10 or 12 questions, not 50. But here’s the most important part. Send it in a Google Survey. I’m sure you know what this is, but if not, then get a Google Drive Account and find the app because it is a godsend for getting surveyed feedback. Using Google Survey, you can create your questions in any kind of format and then display the answers on graphs so you can quickly identify patterns in your feedback to get a good sense of what the majority of your readers think.
Avoid the White Liars!
The most annoying thing a writer can do is shove their story down everyone’s throats. I understand. It’s a great story that you worked really hard on, and you desperately want someone to read it. But telling everyone you meet is not the way to go about it. Most people love stories, but they love stories in their final form, not the jumbled mess you’re spouting out at a get-together. That’s how you turn people away.
But you have a story and you need feedback, so how do you find people who will read your script? Your best friends and family members are a good start, but that’s severely limiting because they probably don’t have any screenwriting experience, and they’re probably going to lie to your face or tell you it’s great and give you a watered-down version of the truth. So you gotta find other writers. Not only is their feedback more detailed, but they’re also going to be honest because they understand that white lies are the death of a writer.
That’s why I always emphasize local writing/film groups. They exist everywhere, and they’re full writers just like you who all have stories they want to share. In fact, it’s very common for them to have round-table reads where people share their work for feedback. Plus, you can befriend the strongest writers and build a network that can help you out.
Now, maybe you live in a small town and there aren’t any groups. If that’s the case, then make one. Literally, just find a space and put up a Facebook ad. It doesn’t have to be fancy, and you don’t have to know what you’re doing. You just need a way to get local writers and filmmakers together in one spot.
But maybe you live in the middle of nowhere. That’s okay. If you have internet access, get on r/screenwriting and offer to critique someone’s work in exchange for an honest critique of your’s. It’s a bit of a cold transaction, sure, but hey, it works.
And then there’s my favorite spot, Charmcityfilmmakers, based out of Baltimore, MD U.S. This is a mastermind group that does a lot of filmmaking in their area, but they also host a lot of online events that anyone can join, including table-reads and writing exercises. So I would definitely recommend checking them out.
Giving Feedback
So now, I’m gonna spend the next seven pages talking about how to give feedback. Just kidding. This will be short because it’s actually pretty easy to give good feedback, even if you don’t know how to write or know anything about creating stories.
All you have to do is be conscientious of where they’re coming from, explain what the problem is, why it’s a problem, and what they could do to fix it, if you’re able to. It’s perfectly fine to point an issue out and not know how to fix it. Sure, it would be great if you could give the perfect solution, but if you can’t, just point the problem out and do your best to explain why you feel it’s a problem.
The biggest slap in the face is when someone tells you it sucks, and they don’t give you a clear reason as to why. “Eh, I wasn’t really feeling it.” “I don’t know, I just thought it wasn’t that good.” Answering that way is basically giving a writer a grenade of a mindfuck that they now have to suffer and wrestle with for weeks.
Just be as clear and honest as possible, and you won’t send your writer buddy into a tailspin of utter despair. That’s it!
Conclusion
Feedback can be a messy thing to overcome from both the giving and receiving end, but these are some of the ways you can make it less messy. At the end of the day, it’s just about being consciously aware of what the writer and the critic are going through.
The writer is showing you their worldview, which can put them in a vulnerable position, and the critic is not as attached to the story as the writer is and is really just doing them a favor…Unless the person is a paid professional, like a producer or a director. Then they’re doing their job.
So writers. Be conscious of their time by sharing your best drafts, and have a clear understanding of what you want from their feedback. And find the critics who actually want to read your story and who can at least give you honest feedback. Also, don’t take anything personally. Chances are, that’s your brain putting up defensive barriers, which will hurt you in the end. So just be cool.
And critics? Be honest, express what you like about the story, of course, but express the problems too, and try to explain why they’re problems. And if you’re able to, provide some suggestions. Be direct, but don’t be an asshole. That’s pretty much it.
Anyway, I hope this was helpful, and until next time, best of luck in your writing endeavors!
Story Prism, LLC
________________________________