Dialogue That Doesn’t Suck Part I
The Five Deadly Sins of Dialogue You Should Avoid Like the Plague
Writing poor dialogue is like waking someone up in the middle of REM sleep. Everything seems great until suddenly you hear a foreign sound that’s different from the world around you and like that, you’re zapped out of the dream and brought back to reality. That’s what it’s like to experience bad dialogue in a movie. It’s not cool.
You gotta get dialogue right because that’s what keeps your audience in the story and it’s what they’re most sensitive to. It’s basically the centerpiece of your script. You can make a mistake here and there with your action lines and formatting, but if you mess up dialogue sequences in the first few pages, it’s very likely no one will read beyond that. In fact, some producers have even admitted that they don’t examine the action lines when they first read a script to decide if it’s good. They just read the dialogue. So yeah...Don’t mess this up.
No need to panic, though, because once you get the hang of it, it’s not that challenging. It’s just hard learning how to do it. Okay, yeah, no. Who am I kidding? It's really hard even after learning how to do it. So, perhaps some of these tips will prove helpful. Unfortunately, there isn’t a specific formula for writing good dialogue. It’s not like using Story Prism to build a logline where you can simply plug in key information to get something that works.
No, the only real way to write good dialogue beyond developing your sense of creativity is to practice a lot and to be mindful of these considerations when choosing your words. There’s actually quite a bit to consider, so I broke this up into two parts. This first part will cover things you should consider avoiding when writing dialogue and the second part will cover what you should consider doing when writing dialogue.
But before we dive into it, I think it’s important to ponder for a moment on this seemingly straightforward question that not many people even stop to think about. Why is dialogue incorporated into stories? The obvious answer is because we have characters and characters generally speak to convey information to the audience so as to move the story. But that’s not the only reason. We also create dialogue because we want our stories to move in a compelling way that feels real and using good dialogue is perhaps the best way to achieve this.
So the fundamental key to dialogue is authenticity and whether your characters are expressing that in the words you’ve invented for them to speak within the reality you’ve created. That’s why writing dialogue is so hard because the story is one reality and the reality that you’re in while writing the story is a completely different one.
Mentally, you have to step out of your shoes and into the shoes of not just the main character, but all of the characters. That’s hard to do, but it’s honestly what you have to do if you want to create good dialogue because that’s what it’s all about for your audience; whether or not you can suck them into the invented world. And if you can’t step into the shoes of your characters, then how do you expect your audience to do it? Just something to think about. Alright, then. Let’s get into weeds, shall we?
The Five Deadly Sins of Dialogue
There’s a lot of things you shouldn’t do when writing dialogue, but these five things are perhaps the most common mistakes made, which can ruin an entire story if there’s enough of these in your script. But by avoiding them, you can significantly enhance your dialogue so that at the very least, it’ll sound authentic and natural enough to pass.
On the Nose Dialogue: This is dialogue that states the obvious whether it’s something obvious to the audience or to the characters or both.
Example: “Luke, we’re in danger because Darth Vador is here and he’s trying to kill us.”
Basically, don’t do that. It sounds super fake and no one would ever say that in this context because the audience knows that Luke and the others are in trouble and so do the characters. Inevitably, that will ruin the sense of authenticity and realness.
On-the-nose dialogue is also dialogue that communicates exactly what the characters are thinking without subtlety, implied language, or subtext. Subtext is either an expression or dialogue that’s uttered, which reveals a deeper meaning, generally something that relates back to the premise and moral argument.
A simple example would be saying that you’re fine when you’re clearly not fine. In the absence of subtext, you would express that you’re not alright and then go on to explain why you’re not. With subtext, you might have the character say they’re fine, but give a subtle hint in their expression or the way they say they’re fine that clearly shows they’re not alright.
Now, sometimes having the characters just come out with it is good, so you don’t need subtext in every line. But sometimes you want to express something deeper without saying it outright because it would feel too unnatural if it was. This is where subtext comes in handy. It’s using dialogue and action that on the surface says one thing, but actually says something else that’s deeper and more hidden within the character. And if you don’t have subtext in the areas that would make it feel more natural if there was subtext, then it’s likely you’re creating on-the-nose dialogue. So, stop doing that!
Exposition Dumps: This is something novice writers are infamous for. It’s when a writer has their characters go on long-winded rants that are way too long to feel natural. Think about when you have a conversation with someone. Do you spend five minutes taking turns going on long diatribes? No. People tend to use short and choppy sentences that often aren’t even complete because we pause in thought or we’re interrupted by the other person. So when you add too much exposition in your dialogue, once again, you ruin the authenticity of your story.
Probably the most infamous move within the realm of exposition is using a character to dump some major long philosophical point about the whole story. I’m guilty of doing this even to this day and it never fails to make me cringe when I realize it.
Look, I get it. You want to make sure you get your point across to the audience. The thing is, scripts ideally turn into films and since films are visual you can utilize action and environment to convey a lot of things without having to convey them all in dialogue. And, oftentimes using action and environment is obvious enough because the audience isn’t stupid, and don’t you ever believe that because if you hand-hold them with on-the-nose dialogue and exposition dumps, you’ll definitely write poor dialogue.
Now, granted you may have a character give a speech that’s inevitably long, or maybe you have a character that’s going over this elaborate game plan. That’s okay as long as it’s not as long as it needs to be and it’s relevant. But when you create these, at least break it up with action so that we’re getting more than just some person on a podium talking for a minute. That’s a good way to keep people engaged, especially if what is being said juxtaposes what is being shown in the action. Doesn’t mean all of these situations need a juxtaposition, but it can certainly help if it’s right for the moment.
Wordiness: So maybe you managed to avoid the exposition dumps. But did you avoid the little parts in your dialogue that add extra words? Here’s an example of what I mean:
Example: “Dale, you and your friend can not do all of that in one hour.”
Unless your character is C3PO, this is going to sound weird when an actor says these lines because people are messier when they speak. So instead of having all those words get rid of them so that your actor can say the lines in a way that sounds real and rolls off the tongue better such as, “you can’t do that in an hour.” Sounds easier for the actor, more real for the audience, and it makes sense given the context because both characters know that Dale has a friend who is helping him, which means he doesn’t have to say, “...You and your friend.”
A good technique for avoiding wordiness is to just say your dialogue out loud. In fact, get out of your chair and actually act the part. It’s goofy and will make you feel like you’re going crazy, but doing this can really help you chop the fat because when you utter the words it becomes easier to recognize the parts that make it too clunky and inauthentic.
Repeated Information: Repeated information is another big no-no, like the fact that I just wrote repeated information in the first line of this sentence in a section that is labeled, “repeated information”. I didn’t need to write that twice and it’s the same when writing dialogue. If an action or something else expresses a point, then you don’t need to add it in the dialogue to bring the point across.
If your character says something and a few lines down you rephrase that same thing, that’s still repeated information. I do this all the time because I just like writing things and sometimes I come up with a better way to phrase it later down the dialogue sequence. When that happens, get rid of one of them because when you repeat information, you get the audience to roll their eyes and that just sucks when it happens. So express it once and only once. Remember. The audience isn’t stupid!
Dialogue Without Purpose: The final big no-no is perhaps the most important one. Never, ever, ever write any bit of dialogue that doesn’t have a purpose to it. What do I mean by that? Well, think about it. Your story ideally will have a central message or a point to it, right? So if your entire story has a point to it, then every scene has a point to it, and if every scene has a point to it, then every character, what they do, and what they say has a point to it as well.
If your character’s in an action movie start with friendly banter about how much they love ice cream and you take up a page of dialogue? Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t a point to it. Perhaps you are trying to convey the kind of relationship they have with each other like what Quintin Tarantino did in, “Pulp Fiction” with Jules and Vern during the “Royale With Cheese” scene.
That was kinda long by traditional standards, but it worked well because it was interesting banter that really showed us they were good friends and quite possibly co-workers, though, in the beginning, we weren’t quite sure what they did for a living. And it was more engaging because, not only did the banter segway nicely into meaningful dialogue that set up the plot and exposed us to the fact that these guys may be bad guys, but while all of this dialogue exchange was happening, we also saw the characters park, get out of their cars, walk up some stairs, and knock on a door. They didn’t just sit in the car and talk the whole time. There was a progression, both in action and dialogue.
So there was meaning in that exchange and a sense of escalation or a sense that we were being led to something interesting, even though it was seemingly insignificant banter while two guys drove, parked, and walked. That’s why significance and intent matter in dialogue whether it’s an obviously pivotal scene or something that seems insignificant. If there isn’t a purpose in the dialogue, then the scene will fall flat no matter how exciting or mundane you make it.
So those are the big five. There are definitely more than just five things to avoid when writing dialogue but these are the most common ones you really wanna pay attention to. The best way to avoid these, though, beyond just being aware of these mistakes is to strive for authenticity. Always ask yourself, “Does this sound natural for the World I created, and does it have any kind of meaning that relates to the story and central message?” If you can’t answer these, then perhaps before delving into the script, you should focus on laying out that strong foundation for your story and characters, first, so you know how to land your story on-page.
That’s actually part of the reason why my brother and I are developing Story Prism right now because with our app you’ll be able to develop a strong foundation before you get into the weeds and this can act as a kind of North Star for when you get stuck on some of the choices you have to make with your character’s dialogue.
If you can nail a meaningful foundation for your story and characters before you write, then you can much more easily figure out your dialogue choices as you’re writing and hopefully avoid some of the common mistakes mentioned above. So that does it for, “Part I of Dialogue That Doesn’t Suck”. Next time, I’ll dive into some of the things you should consider when creating dialogue. Until then, best of luck in your writing endeavors!
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Story Prism, LLC